Archive for January, 2009

Vet Ventures

Saturday, January 17th, 2009

I feel as if we are in San Fran.

Barkley stinks.  This is quite normal, for one he is a dog and two he has death breath.  However, this was a smell quite like no other, it was actually inhumanely vile.   You could bump that smell up next to a homeless person riding a Prague tram in the dead of summer and the two would probably knock each other out.  Poor Barkley has some strange crustaceans growth under his ear and another mysterious splat (that was just two days before, paintball sized) just an inch north.  It was time to take him to see the doctor, my fear was that he had an infection and on top of it all…he’s going bald on his back!  Who knew the baldness gene runs in the canine species?  A little Internet research points that arrow to health problems.  I’m worried.  So Marek and I scurry Barkley off to our new vet.  We found this place, based on the premises of its American Internet photo appeal, meaning large clean whitewashed rooms, cabinets full of medications and modern looking equipment (purposely) photogenically shot from a distance.  Some other vet pages looked more for students going through vet school, having close ups of each and every piece of torturous looking equipment, dogs under the knife, and doctors dressed in their full surgical gear with that amplified surgical light reflecting off their goggles.  Maybe that could spark the right idea for some horror scriptwriter.

The a-waiting room.

The a-waiting room.

So <<Fast Forward>>…upon entering the dimly light building we enter into a hollow sounding room.  No receptionist, just chairs backed along walls, with all the usual dog and cat advertisements for products, drugs and phone numbers for animal ambulances.  There are two doors opposite of each other on the short sides of the “C” shaped room.  One is closed for the day, but otherwise a store for pet needs.  The opposite door has a sign in Czech “Do not enter, do not knock, only enter when welcomed”.  Geez, how the hell do they know I’m here then?  What if his leg is falling off or something?  Do I jump the line of pets and owners that I have no idea where it starts or where it ends?  Interestingly enough, you need to have a photographic memory of the “others” that are sharing waiting room space with you in order to prevent any jipping (which happens A LOT in this country).  Maybe that is why there is no loose reading literature.  It’s all purposely tacked up to the wall so that one may wander around, pretending to read while that peripheral eyeball keeps a patient/owner inventory.

The Torture Table

The Torture Table

Once we are invited to the examination room, I’m relived to see that the online photos are indeed of this vet office. There is a silver 60′s examination table held up a mint green trunk leg in the middle of the room and along the walls are the fully filled med shelves.  Behind the examination table is the doctor’s desk.  From here the doctor strides over with her captivating Birkenstocks, as her big toe is hanging out of her sock to greet us after the nurse granted us “welcoming” permission to the examination room.  Marek gives an overview of Barkely’s ailings.  We put him up onto the silver slick beast.  I start to painfully sweat.  My armpits experience this needle stinging sensation, which I truly believe is my sweat spout.  I know what’s coming.  We have to hold Barkleydown through this whole ornery ordeal.  We are not in the U.S. anymore Toto.  We’ve got to buck up, and hold on for this gruesome ride.  I’m pinning down Barkley from his shoulder’s to his hind quarters, and have perfect view of “the spot”.  To my left, Marek’s holding Barkley’s shoulder blades at an extended arms distance and at the head of the table, the brave nurse further secures the muzzle on Barkley’s sneering snout, and finally to the opposite of Marek and I…stands the doctor armed with scissors, gauze and Peroxide.  Barkley is okay at the first snip, but by the third he’s a bucking bronco.  I’m trembling, by the immense smell that polluted the whole room and by the amazing amount of eye pollution I just witnessed.  I won’t paint the full picture here…but just imagine infected mucous and blood.  I’ve just ruined my appetite for the remainder of the day.  However, on the upside I’m amazed by my bullet proof stomach.  Bull Barkley doesn’t give up the fight, he’s twists, yells, gallops, growls, yelps and toots.  Yup, for a few seconds he lets one toot and I on the receiving end, am the only one  feel and hear its whisper.  Now I tremble of laughter…it overtakes me for a few minutes, as I’m trying to not to let it burst, I miraculously retain it inside of me like one does during a sneeze attack.  The doctor must think that I’m about to heave, but in reality I’m about to chuckle.  I feel like a terrible dog mom, laughing while my dog baby is bawling.

This charade comes soon to a close, with Barkley wagging his tail, helicopter style and a followup appointment in 2 weeks to further investigate his male dog pattern baldness.  It’s payment time, the computer tills up 250 Kč.  Wow, put me on the examination table, I’m about to have a heart attack – that’s only about $15 USD!

Testing Texting 1-2-3

Sunday, January 4th, 2009

So I’m taking a first real stab at this blogging thing.  I’m going through the initial pangs of pain as I learn how to “upload”, “link” and “publish”.  Quite frankly they all sound the same smorgasbord to me, but I’m hastily reminded by Marek (aka Techie Wizard) that they all are quite different.  It’s been quite some time since some or all of you have heard from me.  Well, as I move on up the life ladder, I hope that you will find Suzy blogging as interestingly entertaining as the random email mailings of 2007-2008.  Enjoy and Happy New Year 2009!